


Exceptional

by ailixandrite2dot0 (AILiSeki)



Series: Indigo AU [3]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Backstory, Gen, Homeworld Prejudices, Implied Crackships, Momswap AU, Roleswap, mom swap
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-20
Updated: 2020-03-20
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:15:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,882
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23236069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AILiSeki/pseuds/ailixandrite2dot0
Summary: How the leader of Indigo Diamond's army became the leader of the Crystal Gems.
Relationships: Amethyst & Holly Blue Agate (Steven Universe)
Series: Indigo AU [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1637512
Comments: 3
Kudos: 19
Collections: Steven Universe Mom swap/Role swap AUs





	Exceptional

**Author's Note:**

> I recommend checking “The gem we make together” before reading this story.

_“She will be exceptional.”_

Garnet couldn’t help but remember the words of a report about the gem made to be the leader of Indigo’s army. She could tell from looking at her physical form that she was indeed exceptional.

She was also furious.

It was not like Garnet didn’t know that there would be negative consequences of Indigo Diamond’s death, but she had already seen Homeworld starting to retreat, both with her future vision and in the present. She thought the fight would be over by now.

Pearl was fighting four Amethysts at once. Years ago, this would seem like an unfair fight for Pearl, but her technique and strategy far surpassed their brute strength. Garnet faced Holly Blue Agate, both alone.

Despite not being as large, Garnet knew she had more physical strength than her opponent. Holly Blue Agate’s weapon was a whip, very impressive. An electric whip. Garnet dodged it, but the electricity wouldn’t do her big damage, as it was also her element. However, it also meant her own electric powers wouldn’t be of much help this time.

They seemed to be on the same level when it came to technique. The Agate had the advantage of being made a soldier, fighting was as natural for her as existing. Garnet couldn’t say the same of either for herself. But she had the combined strength of two gems who loved each other, one of which was a fighter and the other, the owner of a mind-blowing raw power she never fully explored. Garnet was sometimes a little afraid of this part of herself, but the power she was comfortable using should be enough to end this fight.

Besides, punching was not the only thing she was good at. She could try other things. Talking, maybe?

“Holly Blue Agate, we don’t need to fight!” She said. “The war is over. Homeworld is retreating. Just leave with them.”

Maybe that was the wrong thing to say. The Agate attacked with increased fury.

“I will only leave with your shards!”

Yet, in her fury she became less focused. Garnet saw an opening. This was a good timeline.

Garnet said the same words as in her vision, and the Agate reacted in the exact same way. Using her chance, Garnet hit a powerful punch, making her opponent retreat to her gem.

The Amethysts stopped, looking at their fallen leader. Three of them ran, one stood in shock.

Garnet could see only one of them would make it back in time. Time for what? They could warp anytime. Right?

No, there was something else. Some other reason why they couldn’t take too long to go back.

Garnet locked eyes with the remaining Amethyst.

“It’s too late.” She said, panic visible in her features.

Time seemed to slow down. Garnet’s eyes went up to the sky and she noticed a light, brighter and bigger than the stars, and it kept growing and approaching. A sound, a single note was all it took for her eyes to widen in terror. She knew that song. This was no good.

She stretched her arms and pulled Pearl close to herself, raising her electric barrier to protect them both from the light. From the song. She didn’t know if it would be enough, but it was all she had. She could only hope the others could find some shelter as well.

As suddenly as it started, it ended. Garnet waited a few seconds to remove her barrier, just to be safe. Pearl was very still, tense. She couldn’t see the Amethyst that stayed behind anywhere.

The air was heavy. Garnet felt her own form glitching. Panic hit for a moment, until she realized it was not a result of any damage, but just her components falling out of sync.

She couldn’t bear to be unstable now.

* * *

Pearl found Garnet sitting in front of the temple, staring down at the teardrop-shaped gem.

If it was up to her, they would have the Agate bubbled, but with the temple filling with bubbles at the rate it was, she could understand why Garnet chose not to.

“Will she reform?” She asked in a soft tone, as if the Agate could hear her if she was too loud.

“There are two different, equally likely scenarios,” Garnet said. “She stays in her gem indefinitely, despite not receiving any damage from the Diamonds. I don’t know why she would do that.”

She paused. Pearl let the words sink in before asking:

“Or?”

“She reforms soon.” A shorter pause. “She is pissed.”

It was a wonder that Garnet managed to stay fused despite everything going on. She was distressed for not being able to predict the Diamond’s attack. Each loss was a heavy weight on her shoulders.

Pearl knew that must be the reason why she was so focused on the Agate. She was the only other survivor.

* * *

As predicted, the Agate reformed soon, not half a day later. Her appearance was identical to what it was when she was dissipated, Indigo’s insignia still on her chest. She indeed didn’t get damaged by the Diamonds’ attack.

As predicted, she was pissed. There wasn’t even a second of disorientation after she saw Garnet before she summoned her whip.

Pearl, who stood not too far, had summoned her spear the moment Holly Blue Agate started reforming and was ready to attack if she offered any danger.

Garnet, however, seemed calm. She raised her hands in a peace offering gesture, despite the fury in the Agate’s eyes.

“You!” Holly Blue Agate roared.

“I don’t want to fight you,” Garnet said, direct to the point.

“A traitor like you doesn’t get to choose!”

Garnet’s lip curled down. That seemed to only enrage Holly Blue Agate even more. She jumped to attack but was blocked by an electric barrier.

“I don’t want to fight you and I _won’t_ fight you,” Garnet said, her strong voice showing how final her decision was. “The war is over. Homeworld retreated. It’s over.”

Holly Blue Agate stood up but didn’t get immediately into a fighting stance. She finally seemed to take in her surroundings, Earth’s sun high on the sky, the unfamiliar location near the ocean. The sky was unusually clear.

No Homeworld ships in sight.

“It can’t be.” She said. “If the war is over, how are _you_ still here?”

Garnet remained quiet.

Holly Blue Agate’s mind was racing. She had no idea of how long she was away, she was aware she took longer than what was acceptable, but not how much longer. A terrible miscalculation. She missed the deadline to get on the ship.

But she had been told the rebels were going to be destroyed, along with any gem who failed to get on the ships in time. How was the rebel leader standing in front of her, undamaged?

How was Holly Blue herself still there?

“You were in your gem at the moment of the attack,” Garnet said, as if reading her thoughts. “I had a barrier around me and Pearl.”

Only then Holly Blue saw that _the_ Pearl was there too, holding her spear and watching her every move.

“You couldn’t possibly block a Diamond attack.” She said.

“But I did,” Garnet said.

“Are there any other survivors?”

“The three of us are the only unharmed.”

The phrase sounded odd, but Holly Blue didn’t think too much about it. That meant there were only two rebels left. And herself.

“Then it is my duty to finish what they couldn’t.” She said, summoning her weapon again.

“You don’t have a duty. At this point, you are marked as shattered in Homeworld’s database.” Garnet said, as if she was trying to explain a complex concept to a lower life form. “You couldn’t go back, anyway. The Galaxy Warp was destroyed, and you won’t find technology for space travel anywhere on this planet.”

Logically, everything she was saying made sense, but Holly Blue was a soldier. Her priority was defeating Homeworld’s enemies. She could despair over the lack of ways to go back later.

“It doesn’t matter! I still fight for my Diamond!”

“Your Diamond is gone,” Garnet said in a chilling calm tone.

Those words reopened a wound that was still fresh for Holly Blue.

“You never even knew her, did you? Do you think she would care, if she was here? You’re as good as dead for Homeworld. You have probably already been replaced.”

She probably had. But so what? Indigo’s army needed a leader, and Holly Blue couldn’t do much from where she was. There was work to be done and someone had to do it. It was nothing _personal_.

But Garnet was wrong about one thing. Holly Blue knew her Diamond. She had emerged long before the tragedy and met Indigo Diamond in countless meetings. She kept her every word in mind, to make sure everything was done according to her wishes.

Indigo had shown mercy to the rebels until the last moment, and in return, they had been treacherous and ungrateful.

It only made the wound even more painful.

The more Holly Blue thought about it, the more sense it made that there was only one reason why the rebel leader and herself survived: she was to do justice, even if it was the last thing she did.

Another attack. Another barrier. Holly Blue cleaned the dust from her face. How was she to break a barrier that could block a Diamond attack?

“Come with me,” Garnet said, adjusting her visor. “I want to show you something.”

Holly Blue had no reason to follow, and her tongue was full of insults as she stood up. But maybe, if she did, she would have a better chance to attack the rebel fusion when she least expected it.

She followed Garnet to a warp pad, noticing the Pearl now joined them. It was just a small offense after everything that she would walk so close to Holly Blue, but one that irritated her quite a lot.

Garnet warped them to a field very familiar to Holly Blue. It was where they had their last confrontation, before she retreated to her gem.

“What are we doing here?”

“I want to show you,” Garnet said, adjusting her visor again. “What would have happened if you hadn’t retreated to your gem.”

She stepped down from the warp pad, and stood to stare at the distance. What she was seeing, Holly Blue couldn’t know. She just saw the green of Earth’s _things_ as far as she could see.

After a while, she saw and heard something in the distance. Just a shadow, followed by heavy footsteps. As it approached, she could see more of its features: quadruped, covered in purple fur. It looked like just another organic earthling, but there was something strange about it, something that didn’t fit.

As it approached more, she saw a glow coming from its chest. A purple gemstone.

“That’s a gem?!” She asked in shock.

And not any gem. She knew that gem, that color, that cut, that shape. An Amethyst. 8XF.

They had received the orders to retreat, to be on the ships in time to leave Earth forever. Holly Blue had the duty of making sure her team followed it, but as Indigo’s trusted soldier, she still wanted to be the one to take down the rebel leader.

She explained the situation to her soldiers, told them that they should follow the orders but that she herself would go to the surface one last time. Four Amethysts followed her. 8XF was one of them.

They planned on going back before the ships left. It seemed that Holly Blue wasn’t the only one who failed.

She was glad to see that at least 8XF was fine, despite having chosen such a bizarre form.

“8XF! Attention!” Holly Blue shouted, but the Amethyst kept running towards her. “I said, attention! Obey your leader, soldier!”

“She’s not the 8XF you know,” Garnet said, summoning her weapon. When the Amethyst was close enough, she gave her a punch to the belly, sending her flying back.

Holly Blue watched as she- _it_ made feral sounds as it struggled to get back on its feet.

“She was hit by the Diamonds' attack,” Garnet explained. “She doesn’t remember who she is.”

The creature ran towards Garnet, ready to attack. Holly Blue had just a moment to make up her mind.

Her whip curled around its neck, sending sparkles everywhere. The creature retreated to its gem. It was quick and, Holly Blue hoped, painless.

She ran to the gemstone before Garnet or the Pearl could get to it. Monster or not, that was still one of her soldiers. She wouldn’t let them put their filthy rebel hands on her.

Images of the creature wouldn’t leave her mind, even after it was gone. 8XF must be hurting so badly. This was the punishment the Diamonds inflicted on the rebels, so of course it must hurt, but 8XF had always been loyal. She was just in the wrong place.

And it was all Holly Blue’s fault, she realized as she bubbled the gem in her hands.

The two rebels looked down at her.

“There are gems like this all over the planet,” Garnet said. “Both rebels and Homeworld gems who didn’t make it out in time. The Diamonds didn’t bother to make a difference. You were very close to being one of them.”

Holly Blue felt a new wound opening, deeper and more painful than the one she received when she heard her Diamond was gone.

“Homeworld caused enough trouble on this planet,” Garnet said. “I should bubble you to make sure you don’t add to the list. But,” she adjusted her visor. “As long as you don’t cause this planet or its life forms any harm, I have no reason for it.”

Holly Blue barely registered the footsteps leaving her.

* * *

Pearl would never question Garnet, she knew the fusion had more experience and wisdom, and plus her future vision, and overall had a better perception of everything. Pearl gave advice and voiced her concerns, but when it came to making decisions she accepted what Garnet chose, trusting that she had thought it over and compared the outcomes to get to her conclusions.

She didn’t tell Garnet to bubble the Agate when she decided to wait for her to reform, but seeing the outcome, she almost wished she had.

Watching them talk, Pearl felt like she was witnessing a side of Garnet she didn’t like thinking about. The way she spoke to the Agate, the things she said… she was being so cruel to a gem who was only doing what she was made for.

Of course she was loyal to _her Diamond_ even after… after it happened. Was that a crime? Garnet seemed to think so. Maybe it was because… Because Garnet really hated Indigo Diamond more than anyone.

Pearl sighed as she massaged her forehead. She wanted to care about the Agate, left all alone, but wording her reasoning even in her thoughts was hard. She could only trust that Garnet knew what she was doing, and that her harsh actions were all for the best possible outcome.

* * *

Holly Blue Agate was an Agate. Her purpose was to lead an army and to keep soldiers in line, things her Diamond used to praise her for. She was made strong, she was made intimidating, she was made loyal.

Now, she was trapped in a failed colony, with no Diamond or army. She had no idea what she was supposed to do now.

Part of her thought her goal should be to shatter the one who shattered her Diamond, and then she would have fulfilled the last thing she could do for her.

But that part got smaller every time she looked at 8XF’s bubble, and remembered the creature she had turned into. Who else was out there? How many other loyal gems had been left behind? She thought of her soldiers who went missing during the war, and even of the ones who defected to the rebels' side. Gems who came from the same dirt as her.

Holly Blue Agate was made to be loyal. Loyal to her Diamond, of course, but also to the soldiers she would lead. Her Diamond was gone, and her army… most of it was back in Homeworld, with a new leader. But some of them stayed behind, like herself, and they were suffering.

“I’m sorry, my Diamond.” She said, looking at nothing in particular. “I know I should avenge you, but first I want to help the rest of your creation.”

* * *

Garnet and Pearl were surprised to hear the warp pad activating that morning.

“What are you doing about them?” Holly Blue asked, holding out the bubble with the Amethyst.

“There’s not much to be done,” Garnet said. “We are bubbling them too.”

“I want to help.”

Pearl dropped her spear in shock.

“We are helping all of them, no matter who they were,” Garnet said.

“They were all attacked, no matter who they were.” Holly Blue said. “It sounds fair.”

Garnet gave a faint smile.

* * *

Just because they had _one_ common goal, it didn’t make them a team. Holly Blue reminded herself that at least twice every hour, or else she would spiral into self-hate for “joining the rebels”.

She was not one of them. They just happened to be the only normal gems around, and they had some knowledge of Earth that proved useful.

It was just one common goal, it didn’t make them a team. It didn’t make them _friends_. It didn’t mean Holly Blue wouldn’t defeat Garnet as soon as she had a chance.

She did all she could to make it clear to them too. That she was still loyal to Homeworld. That she still clung to their rules.

To start, she refused to call Garnet by name. Sure, at some point in the heat of the battle, the fusion had got the respect of some Homeworld soldiers, and in the last centuries Holly Blue had heard even her superiors use her name, and fusion jokes had long since stopped being told, stopped being funny, but none of it meant it was alright. As far as Holly Blue was concerned, a fusion like that was still indecency, wrong, and if she didn’t mention it often it was because she didn’t want to anger Garnet before she was ready for their battle. But she would not pretend it was okay.

As for the Pearl, Holly Blue wouldn’t even talk to her. Again, she knew that particular Pearl made a name for herself on the battlefield, but she was still a Pearl, and Holly Blue would not go down to her level even if she was one of the last gems on the planet, which she was.

If the rebels minded, they didn’t show. The Pearl would get annoyed sometimes when Holly Blue didn’t listen to her “strategies”, but whatever she did instead always worked, which for Holly Blue only confirmed that she was the gem made for fighting in there.

Things always went as Holly Blue would expect them to, until they didn’t.

“I said ‘go right’! Why did you go left?” The Pearl shouted.

So, this one time Holly Blue’s instincts failed her. It didn’t mean she was wrong. She turned her face away from the Pearl.

“You should have followed Pearl’s plan,” Garnet said, arms crossed.

“I am sure we can still catch that thing.” Holly Blue said.

“Not now.” Garnet adjusted her visor. “The forest has too many hiding places. Going after it right now will be useless.”

Holly Blue hated when Garnet spoke like that and adjusted her visor. She had heard about it back in the war, that she was part Sapphire and so could see the future, and that was how she won so many battles, and she wasn’t sure if she believed it back then, but after spending a while with the rebels, there was no denying it. Still, it was annoying.

(Holly Blue didn’t like the idea that her future actions were already fated.)

“If you are going to stick around,” the fusion continued, “you better start working _with_ us.”

“I am working with you!” Holly Blue snapped. “Against everything I believe!”

“No, you are just working _near_ us,” Garnet said, calm as always. “You always do whatever _you_ feel like. We are not going far like this.”

Holly Blue crossed her arms. “I’m not taking orders from a Pearl.”

She half expected the Pearl to protest indignantly. That would be fun. Instead, she turned to Garnet and spoke in a low voice, filled with hate.

“I am not thrilled to have _her_ around either.”

Holly Blue couldn’t tell with the visor covering her eyes, but she imagined Garnet was looking from one of them to another.

“We need to talk, Holly Blue Agate.” She finally said. She started walking towards the warp pad.

Holly Blue hesitated for a minute before following her.

The two warped to an old battlefield. Holly Blue could see the weapons still left all around. Garnet didn’t seem to mind them.

“I know you are out of your element here,” Garnet said. “You are alone and lost and away from your home. I get it.”

Holly Blue didn’t say anything, only stared at the fusion suspiciously.

“I don’t expect you to suddenly change everything you believe in. If you want to stick to what Homeworld told you, that’s your problem. You don’t have to be like us, you don’t have to even _like_ us. But if you are going to stay around us, then you must respect us.”

“I would respect you if you were deserving of respect!” Holly Blue shouted. “In the whole time I was around, you didn’t unfuse even once! How can I respect _that_?”

“You don’t seem to realize what your situation is,” Garnet said, voice dangerously low. “This is not your territory, it’s _ours_. Things here will be done _our_ way. If you don’t like it, just get out of our way and try not to cause trouble.”

Holly Blue felt a rage building inside at each word.

“This is not _your_ territory, this is Indigo Diamond’s colony!” _This is my colony_. “You don’t make the rules!”

“ _Indigo Diamond is not here_. It’s only the three of us. What others would want doesn’t matter.”

“It’s only the three of us, and _I_ am the only real gem here, so-”

“Your old status means nothing anymore.” Garnet adjusted her visor. “You want to make the rules? Then fight me.”

Holly Blue felt a smile involuntarily appear on her face. This was a way to decide things she could agree on.

She was an Agate, there was no way she could lose.

_She lost._

The fight was one on one, no spectators, no physical weapons. Just the two of them and their strength.

Garnet was incredibly strong, more than her size would make it seem like, and she seemed to never get tired. Holly Blue should be the strongest gem, she was a natural warrior, a leader, but somehow she was no match to the messy combo of a common soldier and an aristocrat.

It was the future vision. Holly Blue didn’t know well how it worked but during the battle she felt as if Garnet knew her every move before she did it. That had to be the factor that defined the result.

Maybe Holly Blue had been foolish to think she could defeat the gem that defeated her Diamond.

“Go ahead.” She said, kneeling on the ground. “Shatter me. Be quick.”

“Stand up.”

“You won. Just do it!”

“I have no reason to,” Garnet said.

“What do you want from me?” Holly Blue asked, frustrated. She had lost. There was no use for a defeated Agate. It would be humiliating for her to keep living as a failure.

“The same as always. I want you not to be a danger to this planet, and I want you not to disrespect me and Pearl.”

Holly Blue wanted to complain, but how could she? _She had lost_.

“She is a great strategist,” Garnet said in a casual tone.

“Who?”

“Pearl. She was the mind behind all our plans during the war.”

“I thought you were the leader.” Holly Blue said, truly confused.

“And a good leader would never let her team members' talents go to waste.” She smiled. “Right?”

Holly Blue weakly nodded. Of course, she wouldn’t. When Holly Blue led her team, she wouldn’t tell a soldier to take one position if she was better at another. That’s why she knew each of her soldiers well. Even the ones who were the same type could still be different from each other. As the leader, Holly Blue had to take it all into consideration.

Not that it had helped much in the end.

Garnet reached out her right hand to her. It was the first kind gesture she showed Holly Blue, though the Agate had to admit she hadn’t shown any kindness herself. But why should she? They were enemies!

Still, it touched her to see it. Garnet had every right to humiliate Holly Blue after her defeat. As she took the fusion’s hand, she felt something strangely familiar deep in her gem. Garnet seemed to have felt something too, as she quickly pulled her hand away.

They warped to different places.

* * *

“What have you done to her?” It was the first question Pearl asked when Garnet returned to the base alone.

She half expected the Agate to be in a bubble right now, and she couldn’t say that wouldn’t be deserved, but her feelings were mixed. On one hand, she was very unpleasant to be around, and the rebels had bubbled Homeworld gems for less. On the other, Pearl was kinda getting used to having her around, and in the current situation, not having her there would not be as much of a relief as it would in any other time or place.

She had noticed Garnet losing her temper with Holly Blue for weeks. Only Holly Blue seemed not to realize just how much she was pushing her luck.

“I had a talk with her,” Garnet said. “In the only language she understands.”

“Oh.”

“She’s fine. She will just need some time to choose what she wants to do from now on.”

“What will she choose?”

Garnet shrugged.

* * *

Fate had it that Pearl was alone at the base when Holly Blue returned.

Pearl watched her with some amusement as she seemed to want to avoid talking to her at all costs, yet for some reason was forcing herself to do it.

“Where is… Garnet?” She finally asked.

“On a mission,” Pearl replied, a small smug smile on her lips.

“Why are you not with her?”

“Some missions are better suited for her alone.” She said, not wanting to go into details. She didn’t need to know what abilities Garnet alone possessed.

“Hm.” Holly Blue stepped down from the warp pad, and stood a few meters from Pearl, on her side.

Pearl frowned at her, wondering once again what sort of talk Garnet possibly had with her.

“She said you were the rebel’s strategist.” Holly Blue said.

“Yes…?” Pearl said. She wouldn’t call herself _the_ strategist, but she did work on it a lot during the war.

“She said you are great.” Holly Blue continued.

Pearl felt her cheeks blushing.

“Well-”

“I fought you guys. You did great.” Holly Blue crossed her arms.

Did the stubborn Agate just praise _Pearl_? Was she cracked or something?

“And you do know this planet’s… erratic environment.” Holly Blue added. “And all that. I guess I could follow your plans.”

Pearl smiled. “I guess we will be much more productive working together.”

Holly Blue nodded.

“I just want one thing to be clear.” She said. “I’m not a rebel, and I will never be. My loyalty is still with _them_.” She touched the Diamond insignia on her chest.

Pearl raised her hand to her lips and nodded.

* * *

Things went more smoothly from then on. Holly Blue kept her word and started making an effort to collaborate with Garnet and Pearl during missions, though she was still stubborn at times. But even she had to admit the results were good.

She also stopped openly looking down on them. Her pride was hurt when she was defeated, so it was hard for her to keep believing she was in any way superior to the two rebels.

In return, Pearl tried not to roll her eyes too hard when Holly Blue insisted she was still loyal to Homeworld, as if that was the greatest “choice” a gem could make. She was surprised to see that Garnet was quiet at those moments, when she had been so annoyed at any mention of the Diamonds before.

Garnet didn’t tell her, but the only reason she didn’t bother to say anything was because she knew the days of those displays were counted. Very soon, Holly Blue would find on Earth a new reason to fight and live.

As the light of the warp pad dissipated, Holly Blue visibly frowned.

“Why are we in the kindergarten?”

“There’s some disturbance here,” Garnet said. “We need to find the source.”

The three gems stepped down from the warp pad, and Holly Blue was still frowning as she watched Garnet and Pearl walk in opposite directions.

A disturbance? Was it another gem monster, or something else?

Holly Blue sighed. When Garnet decided to be enigmatic, there was no way of getting information out of her.

She walked towards one of the walls lined with holes. She hadn’t been in the kindergarten since… since she emerged. That felt like it had been an eternity ago. Holly Blue couldn’t help but let her eyes linger at each hole, mentally naming the soldier that came from each. She hadn’t been there when they emerged, of course, but she knew them. Each of them.

And now each was either far away, or shattered, or corrupted.

“Wait a minute…” As she counted the holes, something seemed to be off.

But Holly Blue didn’t have time to figure out what it was, as something moved in the corner of her vision.

The disturbance!

She ran towards it, and it soon stopped to hide behind a large rock. Holly Blue summoned her whip and prepared to attack, but stopped on her tracks when she saw the small purple gem looking up at her with curious eyes.

“You’re… an Amethyst.” She said, her whip disappearing.

“You’re an Amethyst.” The small gem repeated.

“No, I’m not!” Holly Blue said, confused.

“No, I’m not!”

Was she just repeating what she heard? Why?

Holly Blue looked back at the wall, and things started getting into place in her mind.

“8XM?” [[]]

“8XM?”

It had to be her. The one Amethyst that never emerged. Something had gone wrong with her, which explained her size and her compromised language skills.

If the kindergarten was still active by the time she came out, she would have been dealt with. _Or not_ , Holly Blue thought, as she thought back on the Beta soldiers. What they lacked in their forms, they made up for it in courage.

Holly Blue kneeled down, the Amethyst still staring at her, and felt her eyes getting teary. She was really never seeing any of them again, right? Her soldiers were a mess, how would they do without her to guide them?

How would she do without them to guide?

She was truly a disgrace of an Agate. Without pride, without soldiers, without purpose.

The Amethyst blinked, and then shape-shifted into Holly Blue. Holly Blue looked at the purple mirror of herself and a small smile appeared on her face.

She still had one soldier left, left behind like herself, made of the same dirt.

“Did you find-” Pearl let out an inelegant gasp. For a moment all she saw were two Agates, and she took so long to be comfortable with one of them around.

But the Amethyst soon changed back into her normal form as she turned to Pearl.

“Did you find?”

Pearl blinked in confusion. “What the-”

“What the-” The Amethyst repeated.

Garnet appeared behind Pearl. Holly Blue hurried to take the Amethyst’s hand.

“You found the disturbance,” Garnet said.

“It’s just an Amethyst, she is not a threat.” Holly Blue said. “She emerged too late, I don’t think she even knows who she is supposed to be.”

Holly Blue hated how she sounded like she was begging for something, but in truth she was. She was afraid of what the rebels would do to the short soldier. She was supposed to be in Indigo’s army just like Holly Blue herself, after all, and that certainly made the rebels see her as an enemy.

Garnet kept looking at the two of them with her usual unreadable expression.

“She doesn’t look corrupted,” Pearl said.

“She’s not!” Holly Blue said. “She is just a bit…” Defective. “ _Different_. She may not know how to be a proper Amethyst but I could teach her! That’s what I am for, anyway!”

“She doesn’t need to be a ‘proper’ Amethyst,” Garnet said. “She can just be herself.”

The small Amethyst simply looked at the three gems, focusing on one at a time. It was hard to tell if she understood what they were saying.

Holly Blue let herself hope. “I can teach her to speak and to fight, and she could help us! We can use an extra pair of arms, right?” Maybe the rebels would rather no gem was proper on that planet, but there were still things Holly Blue could teach the Amethyst, and if she helped with the corrupted gems she could stay around.

“Is this a good idea?” Pearl asked Garnet.

Garnet shrugged. “I don’t see why not. Just don’t fill her head with Homeworld nonsense.”

“Yes, ma’am!” Holly Blue said, serious.

“Yes, ma’am!” The Amethyst repeated, not quite as serious.

Pearl’s lips raised just the smallest bit, and Holly Blue knew she had won half the battle.

* * *

It turned out that all the knowledge the Amethyst should have emerged with was there somewhere, she just needed a bit of encouragement to bring it out. After half a day she was already speaking her own words instead of just mimicking others, and she was a natural fighter.

Her weapon was a whip, like Holly Blue’s, which was impressive for an Agate and exceptional for an Amethyst. Holly Blue couldn’t be happier, as that allowed her to teach some of her signature moves.

Amethyst absorbed everything Holly Blue taught her, so more than ever she was careful not to show her views on anything. Teaching her any “Homeworld nonsense”, as Garnet put it, wouldn’t bring any good, as they were not on Homeworld and had little chances of ever going back, and the rebels had the upper hand on that planet.

But it wasn’t only Holly Blue’s teachings that Amethyst absorbed. She spent a lot of time with Garnet and Pearl and looked up at them each in a unique way. As Holly Blue taught her nothing of Homeworld’s ideology, she instead learned from the rebels and ended up considering herself a Crystal Gem too. The first time she reformed, she came back with a star on her chest.

* * *

Holly Blue was sitting on the ground of the battlefield where Garnet dissipated her form right before Homeworld retreated. It was a place she visited often, to think about things.

It didn’t look like a battlefield anymore. Earth plants had started growing, covering marks on the ground and burying deep any shards left behind. What a strange planet this was, where everything kept changing.

But not Holly Blue. She had reformed a few times since being stuck, but she made sure to keep her form the same as it has always been, every detail, including the insignia on her chest.

If her Diamond was still there, what would she think? Would she consider Holly Blue a traitor for working with the rebels, or a failure for not being able to defeat them? Or would she in her infinite mercy forgive her?

“'Sup, Holly,” Amethyst said, as she sat down beside her.

“Amethyst.” Holly Blue greeted, not turning to look at her.

“What are you doing?”

“Thinking.”

“About the past?”

“What else is there to think about?” Holly Blue’s eyes went to the sky, where the sun was setting.

Amethyst shrugged, her eyes following Holly Blue’s. “What is space like?”

“Space? I… I don’t really know. I haven’t been there many times.”

“Aren’t gems from space?” Amethyst frowned.

“We are.” Holly Blue said. “But… I was made here. In the kindergarten.”

Amethyst’s eyes sparkled. “Like me?”

“Yeah.”

“Why did you never tell me?”

“You never asked.”

“Wow. We are like… sisters!” Amethyst said excitedly.

“Sisters?”

“Yeah! Like two humans who come from the same ‘Mom’!”

“Tsk.” Holly Blue rolled her eyes. “We are not humans. Our relationships can’t be defined by their words.”

“I guess you’re right,” Amethyst said, sounding disappointed.

Holly Blue looked at her from the corner of her eyes, and sighed. “I guess I wouldn’t mind sharing a ‘Mom’ with you.”

“Or a kindergarten!” Amethyst said, growing excited again.

“What do those ‘sisters’ do?”

“They hang out together and they are always there for each other! And they love and trust each other!”

Holly Blue chuckled. “I guess we are like sisters then.”

Amethyst smiled a bright smile, that smile that became the source of Holly Blue’s strength to move on when nothing else seemed to make sense.

* * *

Amethyst sat by her side with stars in her eyes. Holly Blue didn’t want to be there. The only reason why she didn’t warp somewhere else was because Garnet defeated her in a fair battle and she implicitly promised she would be respectful, and besides, Amethyst would be curious to know why she didn’t stay for one of the rare appearances of Sardonyx, Garnet’s and Pearl’s fusion.

And maybe, just maybe, a small part of her was a bit curious.

Holly Blue tried not to look too much at the two gems dancing, and when she did she tried not to make it too obvious, while Amethyst openly stared. Holly Blue couldn’t take her eyes away once all three of their gems started glowing, and with a strange fascination she saw their forms turning into light for just enough to merge together into a much bigger being.

The fusion was about twice as tall as Holly Blue, and her body shape was like Garnet’s, except she had four arms. And four eyes. Nothing in her seemed efficient, nothing made sense, but she held her head high and smiled proudly.

“So, was I worth the wait?” Sardonyx asked Amethyst.

“Yeah!” Amethyst shouted. “You are _so cool_! And tall! Can all gems fuse?”

“In theory, yes.” Sardonyx said.

“I want to fuse too!” Amethyst exclaimed.

Sardonyx laughed. “You need a partner first.”

Amethyst turned to Holly Blue, who felt every particle of her form freezing.

“Let’s fuse, Holly!”

“I-I… it’s better not.” Holly Blue stuttered.

“Why?” Amethyst whined.

“I have never done it before. And-”

“I haven’t either,” Amethyst said. “There is a first time for everything, right?”

Holly Blue looked at Sardonyx, her eyes silently asking for help. She was trying to be more open-minded towards all of this, but she still couldn’t imagine herself fusing. Not even with Amethyst.

“Now, now.” Sardonyx said, catching Amethyst’s attention. “It’s not nice to pressure someone like this. Holly Blue Agate said she doesn’t want to do it, so you have to respect that, okay?”

Amethyst nodded, serious. “Okay.” She turned back to Holly Blue. “Sorry.”

Holly Blue smiled. She knew Amethyst meant no harm.

“So, do you want to see a few tricks?” Sardonyx asked, trying to break the heavy mood.

Later that day, after Amethyst ran off to fool around humans, Holly Blue found herself alone with Garnet and Pearl.

“Thank you.” She said, face a darker shade than usual. “For before.”

“Fusion is a choice,” Garnet said. “You have the right not to want it.”

Holly Blue nodded. There was a moment of silence, not as awkward as she would have expected. It was actually calm enough that she decided to voice a question that she was wondering about. “What does it feel like?”

“It’s very hard to explain,” Garnet said. “If it’s with the right gem, it can be one of the best feelings in the world.”

It didn’t escape Holly Blue’s notice how Pearl’s hand seemed to find Garnet’s.

“Is that why you stay fused all the time?”

Garnet nodded.

“Have you ever loved someone, Holly Blue?” She asked.

Love. Gems felt love, of course, but it was supposed to be something unimportant, like all feelings. She was never supposed to give it a big weight, so she never thought much of it.

She thought of her soldiers, including Amethyst. “I suppose, in a way.” She paused. “Not romantically, though.”

“Love is love,” Garnet said.

Holly Blue expected a follow-up question but it never came.

“Is it that surprising?” She asked.

“Not really,” Garnet said, her tone soft.

“It is surprising that you are admitting it to us,” Pearl said.

“Pearl!” Garnet soon scolded her.

“What? We are not exactly friends.” Pearl said, shrugging.

For some strange reason, that stung a bit to hear. It shouldn’t, it was the truth. They had a single common goal among their many differences. Those differences showed less with Amethyst around, as neither of them wanted her to ask questions that could disturb the balance they found.

Amethyst knew about the war and bits about Homeworld, but all of it was like a distant story for her. Holly Blue never told her of what side she fought on, and she believed neither did Garnet or Pearl. She remained quiet about anything concerning Homeworld and her own beliefs.

* * *

“I’m telling you, humans can be super cool!” Amethyst insisted. “Sure, they can be a little weird, but they also think we are a bit weird and they still think I am one of them.” She chuckled.

“What, they just think you are some kind of purple human?” Holly Blue asked, raising an eyebrow.

Amethyst had always liked hanging out around humans, but since a group of them started living near the Crystal Gems' base, she spent more and more time with them.

She wasn’t the only one: Garnet also would spend a long time with the organic creatures, but there was a big difference in how she saw them and how Amethyst saw them, one Holly Blue saw clearly but couldn’t explain.

“It’s not like there are a lot of gems around these days.” Amethyst shrugged. “They don’t know about the war and stuff. They think there’s only them on the planet.”

“Until you start shapeshifting, I am sure.”

“Hey, it’s fun to watch their reactions!”

Holly Blue chuckled and shook her head. “You’re going to break them.”

“Nah, it’s cool,” Amethyst said. “You should come with me someday.”

“I’ll pass.”

“Come on, H.B! You should learn how to have fun. You are always only thinking of missions, missions, and training, training. Even Pearl seems to enjoy herself more often than you do.”

Holly Blue wanted to deny it, but she realized it was true. Even Pearl took time off to do her own thing, while she was always training when there was no mission. But she never felt anything was missing. Maybe fighting was fun enough for her.

“It’s not your fault, you know,” Amethyst said, interrupting her train of thought.

“What?”

“That we lost.” Amethyst looked away. “Homeworld, I mean.”

Holly Blue’s eyes widened. Did she hear it right? Was she interpreting it wrong?

“H-how did you know?”

“The kindergarten,” Amethyst said. “Pearl said that’s where Homeworld made more soldiers. You also are the only one of us who doesn’t have a star.”

Holly Blue looked down at the insignia on her clothes.

“And you get all weird when Garnet and Pearl talk about the war.” Amethyst continued. “It’s really not hard to guess.”

“I suppose I should have expected for this.” Holly Blue said. Amethyst wasn’t blind. It was obvious that sooner or later she would notice that Holly Blue didn’t fit in right with the others.

“I guess you were pretty important, huh? You always act as if you are royalty or something.”

 _Not important enough_ , Holly Blue thought bitterly.

“What was she like?” Amethyst asked.

“Who?”

“Indigo Diamond.” Amethyst touched the diamond on her chest. “She made us both, right? Garnet and Pearl don’t like talking about her.”

Everything Holly Blue knew about her Diamond ran through her mind. She could have told Amethyst about her grace and radiance, or about her immense mercy. She could have told her that she was beloved by all her court. She could have told that she didn’t want a war, and tried to work things peacefully for as long as she could. She could even have talked about her own feelings, about the admiration and affection she felt towards the one who made her.

“It doesn’t matter.” She said instead. “She’s gone.”

“Gone to Homeworld?” Amethyst asked.

Holly Blue was surprised for a moment, but she guessed that showed how much Garnet and Pearl didn’t like talking about the fallen Diamond.

“Gone gone.” She said. It still hurt, but not as much as it once did.

“Because of the war?” Amethyst asked.

Holly Blue just nodded. Amethyst didn’t say anything. It was hard for Holly Blue to imagine how the younger gem felt about this. Her questions showed she felt at least some connection to Indigo and Homeworld, or maybe she just wanted to feel it, but Garnet and Pearl were the ones who were there for her, who took her in. She did wear their star. She was taught their principles.

“Well, she did try to destroy the Earth,” Amethyst said, voice low.

“Just the organics.” Holly Blue said. “The planet would be fine.”

“It’s just as bad.” Amethyst shook her head, kicking some sand. “Why did you stay here? Did they really blame you…?”

“No, no. I just… missed my chance to leave to Homeworld.”

“You got stuck.”

“Yeah…” Holly Blue looked away. Her situation was ridiculous, she knew.

“I’m kinda glad you did,” Amethyst said, careful. “Or else I wouldn’t know you. Where would I be without my sis?”

Holly Blue felt herself smiling despite everything. “You would be completely lost without me.”

* * *

Amethyst didn’t ask anything more about Holly Blue’s past after that. Holly Blue was worried Amethyst wouldn’t see her the same way after learning which side she was during the war, but their relationship stayed the same.

The truth was that Amethyst never truly felt a part of that past. She didn’t feel like a real Crystal Gem and didn’t feel anything towards Homeworld either. She didn’t think that learning more would help, as she would never be able to turn back time and make her own choice of side. She preferred to think of the present, and in the present she, Garnet, Pearl, and Holly Blue worked together as a team.

Holly Blue ended up accepting Amethyst’s invitation to hang out with humans. As she imagined, it consisted mostly of Amethyst showing off and laughing at their reactions. She couldn’t deny it had some appeal. Holly Blue also liked being around when they played music, and she even gave eating a try. It was strange at first, but she ended up liking it as well.

Missions went as usual, until one day they were fighting a monster with many strong legs. Pearl was distracted for a moment, and she was in the path of one of its legs. Holly Blue didn’t have a lot of time to think.

She pushed Pearl out of the way, ending up in the path of the monster’s leg herself. It hit the center of her back, piercing the whole way to her chest. Everything went dark.

Holly Blue reformed on the beach. Her new form was the most drastically changed since she got stuck on Earth. Her hair was still tied in two buns, but now most of it fell freely on her shoulders, covering her gem. It was a funny feeling. She got rid of the diamond insignia on her chest, replacing it with a star.

She saw that Garnet, Pearl, and Amethyst had been waiting for her. As she reformed, they looked at her smiling. It made her feel warm.

“Holly…” Amethyst said. “You have a star…”

“Yeah.” Holly Blue looked away. “I thought it was about time to make it official.”

Garnet took a step forward and extended her hand. “Welcome to the team.”

Holly Blue took it with a sincere smile. “Thank you, leader.”

* * *

“You can’t do this!” Holly Blue shouted, frustrated. It only made matters worse that not even in this situation Garnet seemed to be affected enough to show more than her usual blank expression. It made Holly Blue want to break something.

Pearl was crying somewhere. Amethyst was busy pretending none of them existed. Holly Blue was furious. Garnet was calm. It was unfair.

“I know you don’t understand my choice, but-”

“No buts! You are supposed to be our leader! You can’t just leave us like this!”

“Every life ends, Holly Blue. Even ours.” Garnet simply said.

No, this was wrong! While gems' lives weren’t eternal, they weren’t supposed to be this short! Holly Blue had been left without guidance once, she couldn’t be again!

“You are being selfish.” She said.

“It is _my_ life, to do with as I choose,” Garnet said.

“I want _them_ to say this to my face!” Holly Blue challenged.

“I am not unfusing right now,” Garnet said, firm. “But you know I wouldn’t be able to make this choice if it was not something they both agreed on.”

Yeah, Holly Blue knew, but she simply couldn’t accept it. She was just looking for something, anything, that made this all stop happening.

“What is the point- the war, the fight, this team… what is the point of any of it if you are going to just give up on everything?”

Holly Blue didn’t want to cry, but her eyes stung. What was the point of all that she lived for, and all that she lost, if it was all going to end like this?

“I’m not giving up, I am moving forward,” Garnet answered, a small fond smile appearing on her face. “We fought for our freedom. I enjoyed it for many centuries. Now, I am using it to create something even greater.”

It didn’t sound greater. Holly Blue gave up, she simply couldn’t understand Garnet’s gems. First they preferred to let go of their individual selves to stay fused all the time, and now they were giving up even on that to stay inside a human baby? Did they hate existing so much?

“You caused all this trouble when you could just have surrendered yourself for your crimes long ago.” Holly Blue said in a low voice. “I am not staying here to watch this.”

She walked to the warp pad and warped away.

* * *

Holly Blue spent days alone in the kindergarten, thinking, and on occasion shouting. She just couldn’t believe what was happening, she felt betrayed and lost and truly alone.

What a joke of a team she got herself into. What a ridiculous plan their leader got, getting herself “pregnant” of a human. Giving up on herself to become part of his baby. That was unheard off, what where the odds it would even work?

Garnet likely knew the odds. She knew _everything_ , with her future vision. She probably saw the kid growing up happy and healthy and it didn’t matter to her what would happen with the gems she was leaving behind.

Holly Blue should be on Homeworld, worrying only that her Quartzes were in line. That should be her team, a group of proper and loyal Quartzes, and she should be the leader, because she did know better. She was made to know better.

Take Amethyst, for example, she didn’t even know how to deal with her own emotions. She needed someone to rely on. And Pearl, she had come so far on her own, but she depended on Garnet in ways Garnet didn’t even seem to notice. How could she, Garnet wasn’t a proper gem, she didn’t know what it was like to have a purpose, she didn’t know how it felt to need to fulfill this purpose even when they were all supposedly free.

She felt her eyes getting teary every time she thought of them. Without Garnet, the team would fall apart. They would be destroyed, without a leader to follow, without a way to fulfill their purposes.

Until, one day, the pieces fell into place. Holly Blue was made to follow, yes, but also to lead. Pearl and Amethyst were made to be lead. Without Garnet, Holly Blue lost her guide, the unconscious replacement she found for her Diamond, but she was still a natural-born leader, and what was left of her team would need her more than ever.

She still had a purpose, and she could give them a purpose and keep them together.

Holly Blue swallowed all her feelings and went back to the temple. She was back in time to see the actual pregnancy start. She cringed inside every time she saw Garnet’s new shapeshifted form, the gems gone from her palms to where the baby was, even as it was too small to even be noticed.

It was hard to believe there was a thing growing inside of Garnet. Organics were so disgusting.

Garnet couldn’t go to missions anymore, she didn’t want to risk hurting the baby. No one really was in the mood to go either, but Holly Blue insisted they went anyways. They had to learn to work without Garnet, both in missions and in everything else. She had to get used to lead again.

While the mood around the temple was still emotional, there was less crying and shouting and it made Holly Blue feel like she was doing a decent job.

One night, she left her room to find Garnet sitting outside the temple. The first half of the pregnancy had already passed, and it only made Garnet look less like herself.

Holly Blue silently nodded to acknowledge her presence.

“I wanted to thank you,” Garnet said.

“Me?”

Garnet nodded. “You will be a great leader to them.”

“Did you see it with your future vision?”

Garnet made her visor disappear, exposing her three eyes in different colors. At this point, Holly Blue didn’t find them odd anymore, but it was a bit strange that Garnet took off her visor, looking at her eye to eye, without masks, something she rarely did.

“No. I can’t really see anything that may happen after the baby is born.” She confessed. “But I know you will be. I trust you.”

Despite herself, that did make Holly Blue feel good. “I will do my best. Someone has to keep them together.”

Garnet smiled. “Someone also has to teach my child about this side of the family.”

“I am sure Pearl will do a good job.” Holly Blue said. It felt natural that Pearl had this task, as she knew Garnet the longest… and the deepest.

“I want all three of you to do it,” Garnet said. “I want all three of you to be a part of their life.”

“I am not sure I will have much to tell them.”

“You know a part of me none of them know,” Garnet said. Then she added, as an afterthought. “Because we fought on opposite sides.”

“You want your child to know about that?”

“Not right away, but one day.” Garnet placed a hand on her belly. “And if they start developing any gem ability…”

“Do you think they could?”

“Nothing is impossible,” Garnet said. “I know you are still upset at me for my choice, but please, don’t let it out at my child. I want you all to be their family.”

Holly Blue sighed, but nodded. “We will be. As much as we can, since, you know, we gems… don’t really have families.”

“You will figure it out,” Garnet said, before standing up and walking to the beach.

None of the gems were by her side when she gave birth, only her human. They took some weeks to even visit the baby, as seeing him would just confirm that Garnet was really gone.

Holly Blue kept her word the best she could. She took care of Pearl and Amethyst, and she made sure they were present in the child’s life since early on. It wasn’t too hard, as all three gems were soon enchanted by the little boy.

* * *

Holly Blue and Amethyst sat down and listened in silence to what Pearl and Steven explained.

Amethyst seemed to be taking the facts very well. Holly Blue, not as much. She tried to pay attention to every word, but her mind was a constant loop of “ _Sapphire was Indigo Diamond Sapphire was Indigo Diamond Sapphire was Indigo Diamond_.”

Sapphire was Indigo Diamond. Her Diamond. The one who made her. The one she fought for.

The one she fought against.

Garnet took every chance to remind her that her Diamond wasn’t there. That her Diamond didn’t care for her. She would know that, right?

“All this time… all we did… she was only playing with us, huh?” Holly Blue stood up.

“No!” Pearl exclaimed.

“She sent her soldiers to fight herself! Why? This was her planet to do what she wanted with!”

“It was not that simple-” Pearl tried to explain.

“And I led her army!” Holly Blue continued as if she hadn’t heard. “I led her army to a fight we were never supposed to win. Why didn’t she just shatter us all at once?”

She felt Amethyst’s hand in hers. “Hey, Holly. I know this sucks but we should listen to P. Maybe there is more to it than it seems.”

“What do you know?” Holly Blue pulled her hand away. “You weren’t around for the war! You have no idea what it was like!”

Amethyst groaned. “Are all of Indigo’s soldiers this dull?” She shouted, before running out the door and slamming it behind her.

Holly Blue knew well what soldier Amethyst was talking about. She didn’t feel she was anything like _her_ , but…

After this revelation, she could as well get herself corrupted.

“Amethyst…” Steven said in a weak voice, looking at the door.

“Holly Blue,” Pearl said, looking at her with sadness in her eyes.

“I bet you were laughing all this time.” Holly Blue said. “I bet she was laughing.”

“No! It was never about-”

“I am done with this!” Holly Blue said, raising her fist to a wall just to release some of her anger. But then she saw Steven, and the heartbreak in his eyes.

She ran to the warp pad and warped away.

**Author's Note:**

> [Here is CG!Holly Blue at S1 time.](https://indigodiamondau.tumblr.com/post/612622933076115456/holly-blue-agate-as-a-crystal-gem-s1-style-he)
> 
> Check the blog for more edits of the characters and occasional vague spoilers.


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